First and foremost, to be Parisian you must look super depressed and on the verge of suicide ... Life in Paris with miserable Parisians is just completely unbearable! (I think I'm a little oblivious to this overall depressive attitude around me as I'm still in awe of living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. French people have a perception of Americans as always being HAPPY and SMILING, and I think I definitely satisfy that stereotype ... anyways, I rather be known as always happy over miserable and depressed.)
When at a restaurant it is important to understand that all waiters are miserable and pissed off because they have been waiting tables for their entire lives. Do not expect them to do much ... if you want to know the special of the day - read the board! Taxi drivers are just miserable old waiters; so don't expect any friendly conversation. To be a true Parisian, when taking a taxicab in Paris, if the bill is 9.90 hand the taxi driver 10 euros and wait for the change.
When shopping, don't say hello when you enter into a store, nobody cares about your presence and the same applies when leaving - no need to say goodbye. If you want everyone to know you are not a Parisian (or that you are an American tourist) than make sure to smile and say hello/goodbye. At the same time, do not ask the sales person for any help, they are not interested in being of any assistance. If you try something on, leave everything in a pile on the floor, it's the sales person job to clean up and put everything away.
Most importantly, to be a Parisian on the subway, again, you must look depressed and suicidal. Once you enter into the subway, find a seat, pick a point on the floor and stare at it for your entire journey all while maintaining your depressed expression. No matter what, do not give up your seat, not even for a pregnant lady - "you play you pay".
Ha - this is SO NOT what the guidebooks tell you :)
ReplyDeleteOh Dear! Hysterical!
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